To:
People that live down the street-The Election is over, you can take down your Obamanos sign.
“Metal Guys” in the cafeteria at school- When you criticize vegetarians and “loud people”, you sound like real A-holes. That’s not metal.
Whoever sent me a text message yesterday-I don’t know who you are. I’m sure I gave you my number, but I don’t have yours. Who are you?
Neighborhood thief- Please quit taking my Saturday/Sunday paper. It’s not cool. Go buy your own. That’s what I do.
Paper delivery person- I could really use the paper a little earlier. I don’t like getting it as I’m walking out the door. Also, if you are responsible for my lack of papers on Saturday/Sunday, let me know so I can apologize to Neighborhood thief.
New Coffee Maker -You’re awesome, thanks for automatically brewing before I wake up.
Brown Dog- You’re usually not the squeaky wheel, but when you are, it is more than bothersome.
Loud Dog-Shhhhhhhh. It’s early
Consumer reports- why don’t you have kitchen scales on your website?
WordPress- Party
To Karly- Happy Birthday!
Anders Blog 
But we’re going…with Obama…
Thank you!!!! As my birthday gift, you can forward me a copy of the consumer reports report on kitchen scales when they finally write one. Oddly enough, I’ve sorta been wanting one lately. I think it has something to do with turning 31 and “maturity”
also, i probably sound like an asshole all the time, because i never have too many nice things to say about vegetarians. Well, vegans, mostly. they are LAME